Halloween is full of fun and excitement, but it can easily transform into a nightmare for neurodivergent kids, highly sensitive kids, and those with sensory processing sensitivities. 

“Spooky” to you may mean “terrifying” to your sensitive child. And, while they may be excited about trick-or-treating, that excitement can easily turn into overwhelm as their nervous system is overstimulated. 

• Scary decorations or costumes 
• Spooky sound effects or kids screaming 
• Itchy costumes and masks
• The spook factor from social interactions with strangers (who may be in scary costumes)

In addition to the spooky parts of Halloween, trick-or-treating itself can have additional challenges for sensitive and neurodiverse kids. Highly sensitive children may have a harder time deciding which two pieces of candy to take from the bucket while children with ADHD may have a harder time curbing the impulse to grab a handful of candy. Many children struggle with transitions; this can be tricky at Halloween too! 

Good news!!! There are things that you can do to help your child still have a great Halloween! Here are 5 Ways to HELP along with a SHOPPING GUIDE and hyperlinks throughout to help you source some of the resources we mention. 

Prepare Ahead of Time as Much as Possible 

Preparing our kids ahead of time helps remove some of the anxiety of the “unknown.” It also helps our kids learn new skills and coping strategies. Here are a few ways to prepare ahead. 

1. CHAT ABOUT THE SPOOKY THEY MIGHT EXPECT TO SEE AND HEAR 

Start talking about Halloween with your child ahead of time! (We recommend a month in advance, but if you only have a day ahead USE IT! You can still prep your child.) You can take some of the scare out of Halloween by letting your child know what to expect. 

• Describe the types of costumes they might see and find out from your child what might scare them the most. Consider drawing pictures together of the types of things that may scare them. 
• Describe what the decorations might look like and ask if your child has anything specific that they are especially worried about seeing. 
• Talk about what it might feel like to walk up to a stranger and say “trick or treat”. 
• Let them know that there may be some spooky sounds that they might not like and that’s okay. There may be kids making spooky noises.  

2. NORMALIZE THEIR FEELINGS, ACKNOWLEDGE THEM, AND AFFIRM THEM 

Since you are already discussing with your child what to expect on Halloween, you can expect that many of these discussions could lead to big feelings. If your child is sensitive they may be embarrassed or have a hard time sharing that something scares them. Or, they may end up in a meltdown just talking about spooky stuff! This is normal especially for children who feel things deeply. Your kid may even say things like,  “I don’t want to talk about it!” or “I’m not scared!”. Here are a few ways you can help: 

• AFFIRM THAT SCARY THINGS ARE SCARY! 
• “It’s normal to feel scared by scary things!”
• “Being scared doesn’t mean that you aren’t brave.”
• “Everyone’s body is different. Your body finds that scary. That’s okay.” 
• “I believe you when you say that you are scared.”
• “Halloween can be scary even for parents sometimes!” 
• “It’s okay if you don’t want to go trick-or-treating this year. But, if you do, I will be there with you even in the scary moments.” 
• SHARE YOUR OWN STORIES (make it about you or a grandparent etc.)
• For example, “When I was little I used to be so scared of the ghosts and goblins at Halloween. One year I even said I didn’t want to go trick-or-treating because I was feeling sick. But, that wasn’t true. I was so worried that I would be too scared by the decorations and costumes. I was too nervous to say “trick-or-treat” to strangers. I felt like I had to lie because I was embarrassed that everything scared me.” 
• You don’t have to “lie” but it can be helpful to embellish stories a little bit to validate what you think your child may be feeling. 
• By sharing your experience with your child, this helps validate and normalize their own feelings. It helps them realize that they aren’t alone with their big feelings. It also shows them that you were able to make it through those tough moments. 
• You don’t even have to ask them if this is how they feel. Just planting the seed that spooky can even scare mom or dad can help them feel seen and understood. 
• Use “I WONDER” statements 
  • “I wonder” statements can help introduce ideas for your child to start processing. You don’t have to answer or have your child even answer these questions/statements. Just throw them out there randomly here and there in the weeks leading up to Halloween.
  • These statements can lead collaborative problem solving discussions with your child where you both give ideas about ways to address a possible concern and work together to create a plan. But, don’t force it! 
  • Here are a few examples to get you started. 
    • “I wonder if some of the neighbors are going to have spooky decorations this year?”
    • “I wonder if I will only feel like going to a few houses this year or if I’ll want to get candy from every house in the neighborhood.” 
    • “I wonder what the spookiest costume will be and if I will need to close my eyes when I see it!” 
    • “I wonder if my costume will start to feel uncomfortable. Hmm…what could I do if that happens?”

• THUMBS up and THUMBS down game 
  • If your child wants to answer you but is having a hard time verbalizing their feelings, simply having them give a thumbs up or down to answer some of your questions can be helpful.
  • Making it a game instead of an inquisition is important 
    • So add some silly things into the mix
      • Ask questions that will make your child giggle first 
  • Use your “I wonder” statements here instead of just questions
  • “I wonder if you’re worried that your costume won’t be as good as the other kids.”
  • “I wonder if you think the scary costumes may feel like real monsters and goblins.” 
• USE A HALLOWEEN INSPIRED STUFFED ANIMAL OR TOY
  • Not only can a little stuffed bat or monster stuffy (that your child approves of and has picked out) be a great comfort object while trick-or-treating, but this little creature can also be a great way to start conversations about feelings in a non-threatening way.
  • Instead of asking about your child’s feelings, ask about “Batty’s” feelings or “Oscar” the spider’s feelings. You can use “I wonder” statements here too! Or, you can tell a story using the stuffy as your character. Bringing the stuffy to life and using it as a prop can make your child giggle. Adding in the silly can help your child feel less on the spot when talking about scary stuff. 
  •  If you take the stuffy along while you trick-or-treat you can check in by asking your child how their stuffy is feeling. Often kids will share their own feelings in the moment. Or, they will try to find their brave to help their scared stuffed animal. 
  • Here are a few examples of a possible scripts to get you started:
    
    • “Batty is feeling a little nervous about trick-or-treating. He’s never been before and he doesn’t know what it’s going to be like. What should we tell him?” 
    • “Munster isn’t sure how he feels about Halloween. He kind of likes it, but he sometimes worries that all of the other monsters will laugh at his costume.”
    • “Oscar may be a spider but he hates spooky! He wondered if you could hold all eight of his legs to make him feel better!” 
    • “How’s Milo the monkey feeling? I know he had a tummy ache earlier from all the candy. Maybe he needs a break from trick-or-treating?” 

• HAVE A PLAN for Halloween night in case your child gets too scared (We will discuss in more detail further below) 
  • Have a code word or phrase your child can use if they are verbal. 
  • Affirm that you will believe your child’s experience and won’t force them to do something that they aren’t comfortable with.
    
    • Give them an option of “opting out” of trick-or-treating while replacing it with something else they would like to do (ideas below)
    • If they tell you a house is too spooky for them then you will skip it. 
    • If they tell you their costume is getting uncomfortable you will let them change 
    • If they need to take a break you will have options and safe spaces
    • If they are done for the night and want to go home you will listen.  

3. PICK OUT A COMFORTABLE COSTUME IN ADVANCE…and HAVE A BACK UP 

Many kids with sensory sensitivities have a challenging time with costumes. Let’s be honest! They often have a challenging time with “normal” clothes. Socks can feel too tight, collars and tags too itchy, pants too short or long. And, what may feel comfortable to them one day may feel like sheer torture the next! So, what’s a parent to do?? 

• Let your child pick out a costume that feels COMFORTABLE to them both physically and emotionally.
• Make sure that the fabrics aren’t scratchy or irritating. 
• Breathable fabrics can help with temperature regulation if your child tends to overheat. Bringing along extra layers if your child gets cold can be helpful too! Plan for the weather! 
• Make sure that the costume isn’t too scary for them when they look in the mirror 
• Let your child skip the mask, gloves, face paint, etc. if that part of the costume doesn’t work for them. 
• Consider layering your child with their own loose fitting clothing underneath a more spacious costume. 

• BE FLEXIBLE AND PREPARED. Come Halloween night your child may decide that their “perfect” costume isn’t so perfect anymore. Don’t let this ruin their night or yours!!! It doesn’t have to be a battle. Have a backup costume ready that your child has approved in advance. Keep it simple and comfortable. Maybe comfortable black pants and a black shirt like a bat or a black cat. 
• Be prepared to help with some conflicting feelings. Your child may have mixed feelings about their costume. They may “want” to wear something but just can’t because it feels uncomfortable at that moment. This can be very disappointing for them. Affirm these feelings and bring options in a bag. That way if they change their mind they can always add a mask or still put on the gloves later.  
• Some costumes can get very hot. If your child is sensitive to temperature and overheating then dressing them in layers may be helpful. You can also bring along a portable fan or a cold water bottle for them to put on their face. 

4. PRACTICE TRICK-OR-TREATING AHEAD 

Practice makes progress! It also helps reduce anxiety. Help your child feel more confident and less spooked out by role-playing trick-or-treating. Approaching strangers can be scary for any kid. Approaching a stranger in a costume at night with spooky decorations and sound effects can be downright terrifying for some kids, especially those with sensory sensitivities. (And, remember, YOUR CHILD DOESN’T HAVE TO TRICK-OR-TREAT if they don’t want to! There are other ways to have fun on Halloween. We will discuss these later). But, if your child wants to trick-or-treat try the following:  

• Play a game of trick-or-treating ahead at your own door, at grandparents’ house, or with a few neighbors who may be willing! Let your child practice in their costume.
  • answering the door 
  • saying “trick-or-treat.” 
  • For example: Encourage them to take one piece even if they don’t like it and say, “Thank you.” Let them know they can trade this piece later or give it away to someone who may like it. 
• Take turns with your child switching roles 
• Practice taking only one or two pieces of candy from a bucket. 
• Practice (and discuss) what to do if there aren’t any candies in the bucket your child likes
• Practice having one adult or sibling walk with them up to the door to ring the doorbell. 
• Practice saying “Thank you.” 
• Pick a code word or phrase they can use with you if they start to feel overwhelmed. Practice using this while “playing” trick-or-treat.    

 5. HAVE A SENSORY SENSITIVE PLAN FOR HALLOWEEN NIGHT 

This goes back to preparing your child and yourself in advance. Take the time to figure out your sensory sensitive plan for Halloween night. Let your child be a part of the planning. BUT, also remember that you may have to be flexible and adjust plans if your child is having a hard time. 

Focus on the FUN even if you aren’t Trick-or-Treating! 

Halloween Doesn’t have to be about Trick-or-Treating! It’s okay to celebrate in different ways like the following instead! (these are great options if the weather doesn’t cooperate too!)

• • Let your child pass out candy from home
  • Carve or decorate pumpkins 
  • Head to the pumpkin patch 
  • Make caramel apples
  • Decorate the house
  • Bake monster cookies 
  • Make a craft with bats and spiders 
  • Have a pizza party and watch a not-so-scary movie like Monsters Inc. 
  • Invite a few friends over for a not-so-scary costume party
  • Fill a halloween pinata with candy and let your kids go to “bat”  
  • Create an indoor trick-or-treat in your own home. Decorate the doors to each room and have a family member waiting with candy or simply a bucket with candy inside each door. 

AVOID HAUNTED HOUSES and places with EXTREME DECORATIONS  

• • Many churches and community centers offer “trunk-or-treat” options where scary costumes and decorations aren’t allowed. These are often free and very family friendly 
• Try an organized Trunk-Or-Treat or Halloween Event 

Tips to Prevent or Manage Sensory Overload

• CREATE a Trick-or-Treat MAP (or checklist) with your child
• Print a map of the neighborhood or draw one with your child 
• Decorate the map and color in the houses you plan to visit when you trick-or-treat
• Number the houses or create arrows so you have a planned route 
• Let your child put a cute spider sticker or some type of halloween candy sticker on each house after you visit it. Or just check it off with a marker 
• Having things “mapped” out can help you transition between houses and transition to the end of your trick-or-treating adventure 
• Have something fun waiting at your house for your child to look forward to after trick-or-treating. This will help ease the transition. 
• Consider walking your anticipated route ahead of time with your kiddo during day-light hours. This may help your child feel more comfortable in the evening.  
• CANCEL THE NOISE 
• Consider having your child wear noise canceling headphones or earplugs. This can help keep out some of the spooky sounds and auditory overwhelm. 
• AVOID SUPER SCARY HOUSES 
• Let your child know ahead of time that you will help them avoid the super scary houses. And, if something feels like too much for them you will listen. 
• KEEP IT SHORT AND CALM 
• You don’t have to be out for hours! Plan to keep it shorter for your sensitive child unless your kiddo asks to do more. 
• Let your child have breaks between houses if they need a moment to count their candy or look in their bucket. That's okay. 
• Consider only visiting houses with people your child knows. This may help them feel safer. 
• It doesn’t need to be a race or a competition. If you know your child may not visit many houses and will get less candy and toys than other kids, consider having a surprise goodie bucket just for them (with things you know they will like) when they get home! 
•  HAVE A SAFE SPACE PLAN FOR A BREAK
• Your child may need a break if they start to feel overstimulated or overwhelmed. Providing a quiet, calm space can help prevent total dysregulation. 
• Have someone follow along in a car or park along the street and leave your car in an accessible spot so you can easily jump in for a few minutes of calm. 
• Have some calming items ready for your child like their favorite blanket, stuffy, or fidget. 
• If heading back to your car or home isn’t feasible then consider taking a blanket along so you can find a spot to sit down and calm down. 
• Have their favorite music or audiobook ready if that is helpful for your child. 
• Weighted blankets and lap pads, can also help with sensory regulation. Have these waiting in the car.  
• HYDRATION STATION
• Bring along a water bottle! 
• Running and walking often works up a thirst 
• Kids love to eat candy while they trick-or-treat. Chocolate makes every kid thirsty! And, if your kid eats something that they don’t like they are going to want to wash it down with something! Be prepared! 
• If your child gets overheated you can also cool them off with a chilled water bottle on their face, neck, or arms.  
• TAKE A CALMING OBJECT ALONG 
• Transitional objects like a favorite stuffed animal can provide comfort, safety and security for some children. 
• Even a fidget in their pocket or a sensory ring can offer some support. 
• Consider getting them a Halloween inspired Stuffy like a small stuffed bat or spider who gets to go trick or treating with them. (Let them pick this item out and “become friends with it” ahead of time.) 
• Weighted vests can be helpful for some sensitive children. The gentle pressure can soothe their nervous system. If you don’t have a weighted vest, even a light backpack with a few items can provide some gentle comforting pressure to their back. Maybe consider ways to work this into their costume. 

IF YOUR CHILD BECOMES DYSREGULATED, ANXIOUS, SCARED, or OVERSTIMULATED  

• • Acknowledge their feelings 
  • Affirm that they are safe and you are right there with them 
  • Use calming phrases and affirmations that they can repeat 
  • “I am safe.”
  • “I am not alone.”  
  • “I am brave even when I’m scared.”
  • Use these Mindfulness/GROUNDING Tools
    •  Simple in the moment mindfulness/grounding tools can help bring your child back into the moment. This can make them feel less overwhelmed. Here are some examples. 
    • Ask them to name five things that they can see, four things that they can touch, three things that they can hear, two things that they can smell, and one thing that they can taste (maybe something from their candy bag!) 
  • Model Slow Deep Breathing (with a Halloween Spin) 
    • “I want to see you BLOW THOSE GHOSTS AWAY!” 
    • “Blow your magic into the air!” 
  • You can make this fun by making up a Halloween version like the following
  • Provide them with a fidget or comfort object
  • Consider getting them something fun that is Halloween themed like a little bat or spider that can come along. 
  • Help them with Body Movement 
  • Some kids are able to reset their emotions with movement. 
  • Gentle physical exercises like stretching, squeezing their hands into fists and releasing, or doing jumping jacks may help them regulate. 
  • Give the movement a Halloween theme (plan this ahead of time with your child and practice it) like “shake all the spiders off” or “spider crawl” or “bat wings”, “stomp the monster” 
  • CALL IT A NIGHT or Transition to something different 
    • It’s okay for you to call it a night if trick-or-treating becomes too much for your kiddo. There’s always next year.  
    • Or, if the night is young, consider transitioning to a different back-up plan that your child may like more. (We mentioned quite a few options above.) Cuddling up in cozy Halloween pajamas and watching a movie may be the best way to end out the evening with your child! 
    • NEVER SHAME your child. Try some of these scripts if you need to transition to a different activity.
       
      • “I’m so proud of you for trying something that was new! Why don’t we go do something you know that you like now. How does that sound?”
      • “You were so brave even when it felt scary! It’s okay that trick-or-treating wasn’t your favorite. Should we go home and see what candy you got?”
      • “It seems like trick-or-treating doesn’t feel like fun to you anymore. That’s okay. There are so many other fun things we can do. Do you want to check our back-up list and pick something different?”  

All kids are unique even those with sensory processing sensitivities, highly sensitive children, autistic kids and those with ADHD. But, by using some of the tips and tools above (that make sense for you and your child) you can help your sensitive child prepare for a GREAT HALLOWEEN! It may not turn out exactly as planned, but that’s okay! Don’t let yourself turn into a MONSTER! Take time to regulate your own feelings before you step into the dark moments. By being flexible, supportive, and affirming you can model these qualities for your child. You can create safety for them! You can help them learn the skills that they need to manage sensory overload when it SNEAKS up on them.

Halloween and Trick-or-Treating SHOPPING GUIDE

(CLICK ANY ITEM BELOW TOP SHOP)

Best Halloween Stuffed Animals 

Bat stuffed animals 

Cat stuffed animals

Pumpkin Stuffed animal that you can pull fluff out of (great for kids who like to pick at things) 

Spider stuffed animals 

Monster stuffed animals 

LARGE SQUEEZABLE SENSORY SPIDER 

Best Halloween Fidgets 

Best Halloween Pumpkin Decorating Kits

Best Halloween Cookie Decorating Kits 

Halloween Piñata 

Noise Canceling Headphones

Weighted Vests

Halloween Pajamas 

Weighted Blankets

Happy Halloween! 

From Dr. Emma Hostetter and The Aparently Parenting Team 

(As part of the Amazon Affiliate program we do make a few pennies when you make a purchase from the links above. This makes it possible for us to keep sharing free content with you! We only link items that we LOVE or think will be truly helpful for you.)