A Parents' Guide for Getting Out the Door in the Morning with Toddlers (Without Meltdowns)
Nov 10, 2024
If you’re a parent to a toddler, you already know that mornings can be a major challenge. From getting dressed to getting everyone out the door, simple tasks can quickly turn into a battle of wills. But mornings don’t have to be a daily struggle. With a little planning, a lot of patience, and some positive parenting techniques, you can create a smoother routine that keeps both you and your toddler feeling more peaceful and ready for the day.
Here’s a guide to help you turn those tricky morning moments into opportunities for connection and cooperation.
1. Set Up a Simple Morning Routine with Visual Cues
Toddlers thrive on routine because it gives them a sense of security and predictability. They’re just learning how the world works, and knowing what comes next can be really comforting. A simple, visual morning routine can work wonders to help them feel involved and excited about each step.
Try This: Create a simple chart with pictures of each step in the morning routine—like “brush teeth,” “get dressed,” “eat breakfast,” and “put on shoes.” Hang it at their eye level so they can see and follow along.
Tip: Use language like, “What’s next on your morning chart?” to keep them engaged and remind them they’re part of the process.
2. Offer Choices to Encourage Cooperation
Toddlers have strong opinions and love to assert their independence. Instead of telling them exactly what to do, give them small choices within each part of the routine. This helps them feel in control, which can reduce resistance and make them more cooperative.
Try This: Offer simple choices like, “Would you like to wear the blue shirt or the red shirt?” or “Do you want to brush your teeth before or after breakfast?” By giving them options, you’re inviting cooperation rather than enforcing compliance.
Tip: Limit choices to two options—too many choices can be overwhelming for toddlers and can actually lead to more meltdowns.
3. Use Playfulness to Keep Things Light
Play is a toddler’s language, and using it in the morning can turn potential power struggles into fun moments. Sometimes all it takes is a little creativity to make getting ready feel less like a chore and more like an adventure.
Try This: Try “pretend play” by turning the morning routine into a game. For example, you could say, “Let’s be speedy cheetahs and see how fast we can get our shoes on!” or “Can you hop like a bunny all the way to the bathroom?” Adding a touch of silliness can help break tension and make your child more excited to get ready.
Tip: Keep playtime short and light; the goal is to engage their cooperation, not to distract them from the routine entirely.
4. Use Gentle Transitions to Move Between Activities
Toddlers often struggle with transitions, especially in the morning when there’s a lot happening all at once. Instead of rushing from one thing to the next, use gentle cues and give them a little time to process each step.
Try This: Give a 5-minute “warning” before each part of the routine to help them anticipate what’s coming next. For example, say, “In 5 minutes, we’ll be getting dressed!” Then follow up with a gentle reminder, like, “It’s almost time to get dressed—let’s finish up what we’re doing.”
Tip: Sing a short song or use a fun phrase to signal the next step, like, “It’s time to put our shoes on, let’s get our shoes on,” to keep transitions light and fun.
5. Empathize When Meltdowns Happen
Even with the best routine, meltdowns will still happen—it’s just part of being a toddler! When your child gets upset, try to empathize with them rather than getting frustrated. Letting them know their feelings are okay can actually help them calm down faster.
Try This: When a meltdown happens, try saying, “I know it’s hard to stop playing and get dressed. It’s okay to feel upset.” Take a few deep breaths and model calmness. Once they’ve calmed down, gently guide them back to the task at hand.
Tip: Keep calm yourself. Meltdowns are much easier to handle when you stay steady, so take a deep breath and try not to take their resistance personally.
6. Set a Morning Routine the Night Before
Some of the biggest morning struggles can be reduced by preparing the night before. Getting clothes laid out, packing bags, and preparing breakfast in advance can help reduce decision-making in the morning, making things feel more seamless.
Try This: Let your toddler help pick out their clothes the night before and put them in a special “morning box” or on a designated chair. In the morning, you can say, “Look, your outfit is all ready for you!” This gives them a sense of control and independence while simplifying the morning.
Tip: Set up a “launch pad” near the door with essentials like shoes, jackets, and bags, so everything’s ready to go.
7. Use Positive Reinforcement to Encourage Good Habits
Toddlers respond well to positive reinforcement. When they follow the routine or do something helpful, acknowledge it! This doesn’t mean you have to give them rewards all the time; a little praise can go a long way in encouraging cooperation.
Try This: When your child completes a step, try saying, “I love how you put on your shoes all by yourself! You kept trying until you got it!” or “You brushed your teeth all by yourself—and you got every tooth! Way to go!” This reinforces their behavior and gives them a little extra motivation to keep cooperating.
8. Practice Patience and Flexibility
No morning routine is perfect, and toddlers have their own ideas about how things should go. Sometimes you’ll need to adapt, let go of rigid expectations, and focus on connection rather than getting everything done perfectly. Be patient with yourself and your child—it’s a learning process.
Try This: On challenging mornings, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that it’s okay if everything doesn’t go perfectly. Focus on the positives and what you and your child accomplished rather than stressing over any bumps in the road.
Tip: Embrace flexibility. If one part of the routine isn’t working, don’t be afraid to adjust. You’ll find a balance that works best for you and your child over time.
Final Thoughts: Turning Mornings into Moments of Connection
Getting out the door with a toddler doesn’t have to be a daily struggle. By keeping things light, offering choices, using gentle transitions, and empathizing with their emotions, you can turn morning routines into opportunities for connection and learning. Remember that each day is a new chance to try again, and with patience and positive reinforcement, your mornings can become smoother, calmer, and even enjoyable.
Parenting Alongside You!
Dr. Emma and The Aparently Parenting Team
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