Teaching our Children to Celebrate Thanksgiving with Respect and Inclusivity
Nov 20, 2024
Thanksgiving is a cherished holiday for many families, celebrated as a time to gather, express gratitude, and enjoy a hearty meal. However, the traditional story of Thanksgiving—the harmonious feast between Pilgrims and Native Americans—often oversimplifies or ignores the complex and painful history of colonization, displacement, and cultural erasure that followed.
As parents, we have an opportunity to reframe Thanksgiving as a time not just for gratitude but also for education, respect, and inclusivity. By honoring the true spirit of the holiday and acknowledging its broader historical context, we can model empathy and foster meaningful connections with our children. Because my own children have a lineage that includes both Native American and European settler, this reframe has been important in my own home. Let's look at some ways to incorporate this reframe:
1. Begin with Gratitude
At its heart, Thanksgiving is about giving thanks. Start by helping children understand gratitude as an active practice:
• Create a Gratitude Jar: Have family members write down things they’re thankful for throughout the week leading up to Thanksgiving, then share them during the meal.
• Focus on Relationships: Emphasize giving thanks for people and experiences, rather than material possessions.
• Model Daily Gratitude: Share one thing you’re thankful for each day to build this habit in your children.
Why it matters: Practicing gratitude helps shift the focus from consumption to connection and reminds us of what truly matters.
2. Learn About Native American History
Thanksgiving is an opportunity to teach children about Native American cultures and histories in an age-appropriate and respectful way.
• Explore Indigenous Perspectives: Explain that while some Native Americans see Thanksgiving as a time to give thanks, others observe it as a National Day of Mourning to honor the hardships faced by their ancestors. The National Museum of the American Indian (part of the Smithsonian) has a wonderful article with resources HERE.
• Share Accurate Stories: Replace oversimplified or mythologized tales of the first Thanksgiving with books and resources that highlight diverse Indigenous experiences.
Some great books with their links include:
Fry Bread: A Native American Family Story by Kevin Noble Maillard
We Are Grateful: Otsaliheliga by Traci Sorell
• Teach About Local Tribes: Research the Indigenous peoples native to your region and their traditions, both past and present.
Why it matters: Acknowledging Native American history helps children develop a deeper understanding of the holiday and fosters respect for Indigenous cultures.
3. Incorporate Native American Traditions and Foods
Honor the contributions of Native Americans by including Indigenous foods and traditions in your celebration:
• Explore Indigenous Recipes: Incorporate foods like squash, corn, beans, cranberries, or wild rice—traditional staples for many Native American tribes.
• Native American Recipes from the Smithsonian National Museum of the American Indian may be a fun way to incorporate new dishes. Here is an amazon link to the cookbook called The Mitsitam Cafe Cookbook. 
• Share Stories: Include Native American folklore or storytelling as part of your family gathering.
Why it matters: Recognizing Native contributions to the holiday meal honors their role in the Thanksgiving story while connecting children to a richer cultural experience.
4. Focus on Acts of Kindness
Thanksgiving is also a time to practice generosity and community care.
Volunteer Together:
Help your children understand the importance of giving by volunteering at a food bank, donating to local shelters, or preparing care packages.
Share a Meal:
If possible, invite someone who may not have family nearby to join your celebration.
Support Native Communities: Consider making a donation to organizations like the Native American Rights Fund or the American Indian College Fund.
Why it matters: Acts of kindness deepen the spirit of Thanksgiving while teaching children the value of helping others.
5. Engage in Meaningful Conversations
Start conversations with your children about what Thanksgiving means to your family and how it can be celebrated respectfully:
Ask Open-Ended Questions:
• “What does being thankful mean to you?”
• “Why do you think it’s important to learn about history from different perspectives?”
Discuss the Power of Stories:
Help children understand that the Thanksgiving story is just one version of history and that learning from multiple perspectives makes us more empathetic.
Why it matters: Honest conversations empower children to think critically and cultivate a broader understanding of the world.
6. Make Thanksgiving About Connection, Not Perfection
It’s easy to get caught up in the pressures of creating the “perfect” holiday. Instead, focus on connection and intention:
Simplify Your Plans:
Prioritize meaningful traditions over an elaborate meal or decor.
Celebrate Outdoors:
Take a gratitude walk, play games in the yard, or enjoy a picnic-style feast to reduce the stress of hosting.
Reflect Together:
End the day by sharing your hopes for the coming year and how your family can continue practicing gratitude beyond the holiday.
Why it matters: When we let go of perfection, we make room for genuine joy and togetherness.
Quotes to Inspire Your Celebration
“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all others.” – Cicero
“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.” – Maya Angelou
“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” – Oprah Winfrey
Final Thoughts
Thanksgiving can be a time of both joy and reflection, blending gratitude with a commitment to honoring history in an honest and inclusive way. By teaching your children to approach the holiday with respect and empathy, you create a foundation for thoughtful traditions that will last a lifetime.
Let’s celebrate this Thanksgiving not just as a moment to give thanks but as an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect with one another—and with the world around us.
How does your family plan to celebrate Thanksgiving this year? Share your ideas in the comments below—we’d love to hear them!
Parenting Alongside You!
Dr. Emma and the Aparently Parenting Team
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