Cleanup Overload: Understanding Why Some Kids Melt Down and How to Support Them
Jul 25, 2025
Cleaning up toys, art supplies, or school materials may seem like a simple routine—but for many children, especially those with Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD), it can be an unexpectedly overwhelming task that leads to resistance, frustration, or full-blown meltdowns. While this article focuses on the unique challenges that children with DCD face during clean-up, the strategies offered here are equally helpful for children with ADHD, sensory processing differences, and executive function delays. In fact, even neurotypical children can struggle with cleanup routines when tasks are too complex, unstructured, or demand too much all at once. Understanding why clean-up is hard—and how to break it down into manageable, success-oriented steps—can transform it from a daily battleground into an opportunity for skill-building and connection.
Cleaning up—especially picking up toys—is a deceptively complex task for children with Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD). What looks like a simple request (“Please clean up your toys”) can actually trigger overwhelm, frustration, and meltdowns, because it taps into nearly every area of difficulty children with DCD face. Let’s break this down.
Why Cleaning Up Is So Hard for Children with DCD
1. Poor Motor Planning (Dyspraxia)
Cleaning up is not a single task—it’s a series of mini motor tasks:
• Locating scattered toys
• Deciding how to group or sort them
• Bending, reaching, and carrying
• Opening bins, bags, or drawers
• Fitting toys back into containers
A child with DCD may not know where to start, struggle to sequence what to do next, or physically find it difficult to coordinate movements.
What it looks like:
They pick up one toy, wander, drop it somewhere else, then sit down or avoid the task altogether.
2. Executive Function Challenges
Even though DCD is a motor disorder, many kids also have executive function delays—especially around:
• Initiation (starting the task)
• Sustained attention (staying with it)
• Working memory (remembering where things go)
• Self-monitoring (noticing what’s left to clean)
This means a “simple” cleanup request can feel like being asked to juggle flaming swords without a plan.
What it looks like:
They get distracted, move slowly, or claim “I don’t know how” even though they’ve cleaned up before.
3. Visual-Spatial Difficulties
Kids with DCD often have trouble with spatial organization—so tasks like fitting toys into bins or stacking items can be genuinely difficult.
What it looks like:
They overstuff a bin, can’t close the lid, or just dump toys into the nearest container.
4. Fatigue and Low Muscle Tone
Cleaning up is physically demanding when you have:
• Low muscle endurance
• Weak postural control
• Fine/gross motor delays
If a child has been playing hard or is at the end of the day, they may simply lack the energy reserves to finish the task.
What it looks like:
Slouching, flopping, or flat-out refusal to engage—especially after effortful play.
5. Sensory Overload
By the time clean-up is requested:
• The room is often noisy and cluttered
• Transitions are happening (play → cleanup → bedtime)
• The child’s system may already be sensory saturated
Add a demand, and their nervous system tips into fight, flight, or freeze.
What it looks like:
Tears, yelling, hiding, or seemingly disproportionate meltdowns over a cleanup request.
What You Can Do to Help a Child with DCD Clean Up Successfully
1. Break It Down Visually and Verbally
Instead of “Clean up the toys,” say:
• “First, put all the blocks in the blue bin.”
• “Then let’s gather all the animals together.”
Or better yet—use a visual checklist with steps and bins labeled.
Why this helps: It reduces the executive demand and helps them focus on one doable task at a time.
2. Use Bins and Labels Strategically
Have clear, accessible storage:
• Bins without lids are easier
• Color coding or picture labels help children sort
• Reduce categories (e.g., “cars” and “everything else”) for less complexity
Why this helps: Spatial and visual organization is simplified.
3. Co-Regulate and Scaffold
Join them—but don’t do it all for them.
Try:
• “I’ll pick up the puzzle pieces, you get the blocks.”
• “Let’s do 3 things each, then check in.”
Why this helps: You reduce overwhelm while modeling task completion and keeping connection intact.
4. Use Timers Thoughtfully
Instead of racing the clock (which can backfire for DCD), use timers to structure cleanup, like:
• “We’ll clean for 5 minutes, then take a break.”
• “When the sand timer runs out, we’ll see what we finished—no pressure.”
Why this helps: It limits the task and reduces the fear of “endless” cleanup.
5. Build in Predictable Routines
Make clean-up part of every transition, not a last-minute demand.
• “After we play, we always clean before snack.”
• Use songs or routines to signal the transition.
Why this helps: Predictability reduces anxiety and sets up expectations in advance.
6. Regulate Before You Request
If the child is dysregulated:
• Pause and co-regulate first (snuggle, sip of water, deep breath)
• Then scaffold the cleanup gently
Why this helps: Their nervous system has to be in the green zone to access cooperation.
7. Offer Meaningful Praise and Motivation
Rather than “good job,” use:
• “You found every single block—your brain worked so hard to spot them!”
• “That was tricky, but you didn’t give up.”
Why this helps: It validates effort over outcome and reinforces a growth mindset.
Let's SUM it all up!
Cleanup time seems simple to adults, but for children with developmental coordination disorder, it can feel like an overwhelming, confusing, and exhausting task that often leads to emotional dysregulation or full-blown meltdowns. Understanding why cleanup is hard is the first step to supporting a child with more compassion and effectiveness.
One of the biggest challenges is motor planning, or what’s often referred to as dyspraxia. A child with DCD may not know how to start cleaning up or how to sequence the task. They may look around the room full of toys and feel stuck, unable to break it down into manageable steps. Even if they’ve cleaned up before, they may not be able to recall the process in the moment—especially if they’re tired, overstimulated, or under pressure.
Cleanup also requires executive function skills, like initiating the task, sustaining attention, remembering where items go, and monitoring what’s left to do. These are all areas where children with DCD often struggle, especially if they also have ADHD or sensory processing challenges. Without support, a child may feel frozen or distracted rather than capable and in control.
Visual-spatial difficulties also play a role. Children with DCD may have a hard time figuring out how to group toys, fit them into containers, or recognize where items belong—especially if bins are unorganized or unlabeled. Tasks that seem small, like putting puzzle pieces back in the box, may feel like trying to solve a jigsaw puzzle blindfolded.
Then there’s the physical component. Many kids with DCD have low muscle tone or fatigue easily, so cleanup—especially at the end of the day—can feel like climbing a mountain. Bending, carrying, opening lids, and sorting objects all require coordination and core strength. If the child has used up their motor or cognitive energy, they may simply shut down or resist the task altogether.
Layered on top of all this is often sensory overload. Cleanup usually comes during a transition—moving from play to dinner or bedtime—and the room may already be noisy, cluttered, or chaotic. For a child with sensory sensitivities, the combination of environmental stimuli and the demand to shift gears can send their nervous system into fight, flight, or freeze. This is when parents see tears, yelling, refusal, or full meltdowns.
To help, parents and educators can take several proactive steps. First, break the task into specific, manageable steps, such as “Let’s start by picking up all the blocks,” rather than giving vague commands like “Clean up.” Use visual supports like checklists or labeled bins with pictures to reduce the demand on memory and sequencing. Co-regulate first if the child is already dysregulated—pause to offer connection, a drink of water, or a calming moment before jumping into cleanup.
Instead of leaving the child to clean alone, scaffold the process. Work alongside them and assign small jobs they can succeed at. Try taking turns or dividing the room into zones. Timers can help, but avoid turning cleanup into a race if your child gets overwhelmed by pressure. Instead, use a timer to provide structure—such as “Let’s clean for 5 minutes, then we’ll pause and see how far we got.”
Be mindful of storage systems. Simplify categories (e.g., “cars and everything else”) and use open bins that don’t require fine motor skills to access. Reduce the total number of toys available at one time to prevent visual and physical clutter from becoming overwhelming in the first place.
Most importantly, reframe success. Your child may not clean perfectly or independently right away—but that’s not the goal. The goal is to help them feel capable, supported, and calm as they learn the steps of this important skill. Celebrate effort, model the process repeatedly, and build in predictability so clean-up becomes part of a routine rather than a surprise demand.
With time, scaffolding, and a nervous-system-aware approach, children with DCD can learn to participate in cleanup without fear or frustration—and with a growing sense of independence and mastery.
Parenting Alongside You,
Dr. Emma and The Aparently Parenting Team
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