Helping Your Child Understand What It Means to Be a Highly Sensitive Child
Jan 06, 2025
As a parent, you may notice your child experiences the world in a uniquely deep and intense way. They may feel emotions more strongly, get overwhelmed in busy environments, or seem to pick up on subtleties others overlook. If this sounds familiar, your child might be a highly sensitive person (HSP) — a term first introduced by psychologist Dr. Elaine Aron, who has done extensive research on what it means to have a highly sensitive temperament.
In this article, we’ll explore how to explain sensitivity to your child in a positive, age-appropriate way, emphasizing that being highly sensitive is a valuable quality that simply means they experience the world in their own way.
Explaining High Sensitivity to Your Child in a Positive Light
When talking to your child about being highly sensitive, try to make it feel like a unique “superpower” they have. Sensitivity is a special way of perceiving the world, one that brings challenges but also unique gifts.
Start with a Simple, Relatable Explanation
Depending on your child’s age, begin by helping them understand what it means to be sensitive:
Script:
“Being highly sensitive means that you have a ‘super-sensing’ ability. Your brain notices things that other people might miss, like small sounds, textures, or changes in how people feel. This makes you very thoughtful, kind, and aware — like you have a little bit of extra magic in how you experience the world!”
Emphasize the Strengths of Being Sensitive
Many highly sensitive children (HSCs) may feel “different” or struggle with being overwhelmed. Reframing these differences as strengths can boost their self-esteem and help them embrace their sensitivity.
Script:
“Having a sensitive heart and mind means you’re able to understand how others feel, so you’re naturally caring and thoughtful. You might also be very creative, because you notice details others miss, which is why you may enjoy things like art, music, or reading. It’s like you have a superpower for seeing beauty and understanding people!”
Highlight Real-Life Examples
Share stories about sensitive people who made a positive difference in the world. Artists, writers, and musicians often have heightened sensitivity, which helps them create works that touch others.
For instance, you might say:
“Did you know some of the most amazing artists and inventors were very sensitive? People like Albert Einstein, who loved exploring ideas deeply, and Helen Keller, who felt the world in a unique way because of her heightened senses, changed the world by embracing their differences.”
Acknowledge the Challenges
While being sensitive has many benefits, it’s also important to help your child understand why they sometimes feel overwhelmed. Framing challenges in a gentle, supportive way helps them feel validated and prepared.
Script:
“Because your senses pick up on so many things, there may be times when you feel a little more tired or overwhelmed. This is completely normal for sensitive people. It’s okay to take breaks, find quiet spaces, and take things slow when you need to. Everyone has things they need a little extra help with, and for you, it’s about finding ways to keep your energy and happiness.”
Give Them Practical Tools and Coping Strategies
Offering tools for managing sensitivity can empower your child. You might teach them how to take “sensory breaks” or practice deep breathing when they feel overwhelmed. Remind them that there are always ways to feel more comfortable.
Suggestions:
• Find a Quiet Place: Encourage them to have a favorite “quiet corner” at home or even at school where they can go if things feel too loud or busy.
• Mindfulness: Practice breathing techniques or mindfulness exercises together. Apps like Headspace for Kids or Smiling Mind offer child-friendly meditations.
• Create a Sensory Toolkit: Help your child gather items like headphones, a small fidget toy, or even a favorite book that they can use when they need a break.
Encourage Open Communication and Validation
Let your child know that it’s okay to tell you when things feel overwhelming and that you’ll work together to make them comfortable.
Script:
“Whenever things start to feel too busy, noisy, or stressful, remember you can tell me how you’re feeling. I’ll help you find a way to take a break or feel more comfortable. It’s okay to speak up because being sensitive just means you need a little extra care sometimes.”
Recommended Resources for Parents and Children
Here are some wonderful books and resources that can help your child (and you) understand and celebrate their sensitivity:
1. Books for Kids
• The Highly Sensitive Child by Dr. Elaine Aron – A comprehensive guide for parents on understanding sensitivity, written by the psychologist who coined the term “highly sensitive person.”
• You’re Smarter Than You Think by Thomas Armstrong – A book that celebrates different types of intelligence, including sensitivity and empathy, and helps children see their strengths.
• All About Feelings by Felicity Brooks – An illustrated book that helps children explore their emotions and understand that it’s okay to feel deeply.
2. Quotes to Share with Your Child
Sharing quotes can make sensitivity feel inspiring and relatable. Here are a few:
• “The great gift of human beings is that we have the power of empathy.” — Meryl Streep
• “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.” — Oscar Wilde
• “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” — Caroline Flack
Embracing Sensitivity as a Superpower
By talking to your child openly and positively about being sensitive, you’re helping them see it as a unique and powerful part of who they are. They’ll learn that being a highly sensitive child means they have a wonderful ability to feel and understand the world deeply. Remember, as Dr. Elaine Aron says, “Sensitivity is a beautiful gift to be cherished.” This journey might have its ups and downs, but with your support, they’ll see their sensitivity as something to be proud of.
Helping them build confidence in who they are will empower them to embrace their sensitivity as they grow, giving them a foundation of self-love and understanding.
Parenting Alongside You!
Dr. Emma Hostetter
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