Navigating Body Image and Self-Esteem in Teens: A Positive Parenting Guide
Jan 04, 2025
The teenage years are a critical time for self-discovery, yet they can also be filled with insecurities about body image and self-esteem. Teens are constantly bombarded with societal messages, peer pressures, and unrealistic beauty standards, that can lead to distorted self-perceptions. This article explores why body image and self-esteem issues arise in teens, what this looks like, and, most importantly, how parents can use positive parenting strategies to guide their teens toward self-acceptance and confidence.
Why Are Body Image and Self-Esteem Challenging for Teens?
1. Biological and Developmental Factors
Teens undergo rapid physical changes during puberty, from growth spurts to hormonal fluctuations, which can make them self-conscious. Plus, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for decision-making and self-regulation, is still developing, making teens more susceptible to emotional responses and peer influence. Dr. Lisa Damour, psychologist and author of Untangled, explains, “The developmental task of adolescence is to separate from parents and form a personal identity. Body image often becomes a central focus during this process.”
2. Cultural and Media Influences
Social media platforms often promote idealized body types, fostering comparison and unrealistic expectations. Filters and photo-editing apps have created distorted realities that teens may try to emulate. A 2022 study published in JAMA Pediatrics found that excessive social media use was associated with higher rates of body dissatisfaction among adolescents.
3. Peer and Social Pressures
Peer comments about appearance, even seemingly harmless ones, can significantly affect self-esteem, and the desire to fit in or gain acceptance may lead teens to overly focus on their looks.
Signs of Body Image or Self-Esteem Issues
Emotional Signs:
• Frequent negative self-talk (“I’m so ugly” or “I’ll never look good”).
• Anxiety or avoidance behaviors, such as skipping social events.
Behavioral Signs:
• Excessive focus on dieting or exercise.
• Overuse of mirrors or constant comparison to others.
• Withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed.
Physical Signs:
• Rapid changes in weight or eating habits.
• Warning signs of disordered eating, such as restricting food or bingeing.
Strategies to Support Body Image and Self-Esteem
1. Model Self-Compassion
You can model self-compassion for your teen in many different ways. Here are just a few ways to get started. First, avoid negative comments about your own appearance in front of your teen. Next, you can celebrate your body for what it can do, not just how it looks. You can also share moments of self-care and gratitude for your own well-being. Dr. Brené Brown, researcher and author, emphasizes, “We can’t give our children what we don’t have. If we want them to feel worthy, we have to show them what self-worth looks like in our own lives.”
2. Focus on Strengths and Skills
We can praise efforts, talents, and character traits rather than appearance.
For example: Instead of “You look so pretty,” you could say, “You worked so hard on that project; I’m proud of your creativity.”
3. Encourage Media Literacy
As much as we may want our children to live in a bubble, media is going to be present in their lives. We can limit phones and screen time, but technology always has a way of creeping in especially in our current culture. It's important that we teach our teens how to manage technology and media in healthy ways. How? You can teach your teen to question and look at media messages with a critical lens. Discussing how photos are edited and curated online to create unrealistic beauty standards is a great place to start. You can also suggest watching a documentary like The Social Dilemma together to spark conversation about social media’s impact.
4. Promote Healthy Habits, Not Perfection
As a parent you can encourage balanced nutrition and exercise as a way for your teen to feel strong and energized, not just to change their appearance. You can also model this in your own life. You can also avoid labeling foods as “good” or “bad,” which can contribute to guilt around eating.
5. Foster Open Conversations
Ask open-ended questions to explore their feelings:
“What do you think about the messages you see online about beauty?”
“How do you feel about the way you look lately?”
And, then, listen without judgment and validate their experiences: “I understand that it can feel tough to see those images online. It’s okay to feel that way.”
6. Cultivate a Growth Mindset
You can foster a growth mindset by helping your teen focus on what they can control and improve, like skills or talents, rather than comparing themselves to others. You can also normalize the idea that bodies change and grow throughout life, and that’s okay.
When to Seek Professional Help
If your teen exhibits signs of disordered eating, severe body dissatisfaction, or social withdrawal, professional support may be necessary. Therapists trained in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can help teens reframe negative thought patterns. A registered dietitian with experience in adolescent nutrition can provide guidance on balanced eating.
Resource: The National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) offers a helpline at 1-800-931-2237 and online chat services for immediate support.
Key Takeaways for Parents
1. Teens’ self-esteem and body image are shaped by family, friends, and media influences. As a parent, you are their first role model.
2. Parenting strategies, like modeling self-compassion, praising strengths, and encouraging open conversations, can significantly impact how your teen views themselves.
3. Encourage your teen to prioritize health, self-care, and personal growth over meeting society's beauty standards.
Resources for Parents
• Untangled by Dr. Lisa Damour: A guide to understanding the stages of adolescence.
• National Eating Disorders Association: www.nationaleatingdisorders.or
• Dove Self-Esteem Project: Free resources for teens and parents on building body confidence.
Parenting Alongside You!
Dr. Emma Hostetter and The Aparently Parenting Team
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